Tuesday, November 02, 2004

monday means family day nowadays with both mum and dad not working. dad was rushing to settle my uni stuff. i have got no idea why. sigh. rushing about here and there. not what i would call a perfect day. in the end i settled my uni payment. RMIT it is. i dunno. i still feel unsure and uncertain. yes yes i know i made the payment. sigh. i really dunno. call me fickle or wadever u want. a part of me really wanna do mech engin. but then another part of me is telling me that i have forgotten everything. that was like what. 2 and half yrs ago. darn. mag and dad told me to do some self revision. better get myself to doing it. what's simpson's rule? sigh. the simpson i know now is on channel 18. bart. bart simpson. and another reason is the fact that my campus is in the suburbs. which means its way off the city. have got no idea how wooloo that will be. suburbs give me the feeling that all i see around is just just....i dunno kangaroos hopping around the trees with lots of grass and little civilisation. thats another part am unsure of. the guy at idp was telling my dad, guys who come out of army dont really do well in engineering when they get back to it. and that the best he has seen was a 2nd upper hons. a part of me wanna come back 2 yrs from now and show him. now youve seen a 1st. ha. bit of motivation. was thinking. guess in the end the location doesnt matter. am there to study. not for hols. so i should be focus. i must be. after all the money spent. get myself psyched up a little. hafetn been studying for the past 2 and half year. and SAT dont count. cause that wasnt even studying. need to refresh my memory as mag says. to recall all that i have learnt like from 5 and a half yrs ago. KAOZ! thats a pretty long time. my goodness. my first yr in poly. the guy at IDP pop me another question. why choose RMIT when u can go to UniSA or Newcastle. i was stunned for a moment. i really dint know how to answer at that pt of time. and he was saying this was the more expensive of the 3. i just kept quiet. but deep inside me i had the answer. cause i wanna go melb. cause all along i wanted to further my studies at RMIT. cause thats where mag will be going. if shes going. cause i dun see myself ending up at south aus or sydney. cause rmit engin courses are more practical focus than theory. dunno why i dint say all this then. i dun care anyway. his not the one studying there. now got to settle accoms. quite a big headache. it being in the suburbs i am not open to like a lot of choices. erkz. hope to get it settled soon. why am i such an undecisive and fickle minded person. mag talked lots of sense to me yesterday. that i should know what i want to do. and its abt time to think and make decisions and stick to them and work towards them. on what i want to achieve and be doing in years to come. and i really appreciate them. cause it really got me to question myself. cant be idling ard doing nothing. set my mind on it. and do it. and that life dun always go the way you want. accept it. and make the best of the situation. mrs kwan said something to me this afternn. which i felt was really meaningful. the route to the fruits of labour is always and definitely bitter. but you can be assured that the fruit you get in the end, is definitely sweet. realised i havent been paragraphing. too lazy to type enter. oh ya and its dad's birfdae! went for a real good dinner at copthorne. though mag din really eat most of the food as shes claims shes half vegeterian. was good though. got to start refreshing my memory. newton's law. i dun quite remember. but i definitely remember the aunty selling stingray at newton circus. even my memory of trigo is vague. how to calculate stress? tension? got to start digging up my lecture notes. see what army does to the male species. it makes them stupid. or probably it just applies to me. for those of you who actually read my blog..which is prob less than the fingers i have on my right hand as this is suppose to be kinda like a private blog...any comments? and yes jan. dun say am fickle. i know i am. and i still rem you writing it in my pri 6 journal. for now am going back to my book. the curious incident of the dog in the night time. df any interest in borrowing it? i rented it for 6 bucks. share half? =)
e fickle minded.
God bless.

in this life You have always been there. through my ups and downs. and now i know that You are still here by my side. i pray that You will touch me and talk to me and lead me through this uncertain times. i praise Your name. and lift it on high.




stay humble. stay true. to yourself. to God.

desmond scribbled at 1:35 AM.
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