Thursday, August 12, 2004

am in pain. real pain. knowing that i am someone who can endure pain. this is really killing me. finally after much persuasion by danny and the driver i went to the MO. dun exactly like the idea of reporting sick. my third time reporting sick in my whole 2 yrs in army. dunno why. its just in me. you report sick you are a weakling. i know thats crap. but thats just my thinking.

amazingly the MO saw less then 2 minutes of my injured toe. and told me he would give me 2 days att c. ha. i need to get rid of the pain. not the att c. no use giving me even a hundred days if you cant cure me. hmmz thinking again maybe hundred days will do. would have ord by then. haha. got some antispetic painkillers and cream. doesnt seem to help. still hurts like @#!$

jan told me that its supposed to be removed surgically and the pain will be gone. guess the MO has got no idea on how to do it. probably why he gave me the att c to chase me out of the room. din wanna book out even though on att c. no much diff i see it. being here and home. just that i wont have to wear boots and shoes. but guess the sense of responsibility got the better of me. even after much saying by danny that its not worth it and no one would appreciate. some part of me tells me its not worth it. but then i guess to have one more officer on site at field camp is better than one less. other than the fact that am injured and cant walk properly. and i dun care how people think. end of the day is the sense of responsibility that i have learned throughout my army days. from bmt to sispec to ocs. if i know i am still fit enought to go on. why not? got this feeling that my platoon is prob saying why am not outfield with them doing runs with them and route marching with them. sigh. as much as i want to. i cant. but at least am there. this being my last.

mag got tix for this sat hoobastank concert. cant make it. am at field camp. sigh. hope she understands. i also wish to go if i could. but then again with my toe in the current condition standing for any period more than 30 mins would kill me. and the thought of being step on turns me off. anything near my big left toe 1 cm from it i will be super sensitive to it. try me. and see what will happen.

cant wait for the field camp to end. and the infantry dining in to be over. and my time to come.
and hope that i wouldnt wake up in the middle of the night due to the pain once again.

thank you lord for the day and the blessings you have showered unto us all. pray that you grant me strength to walk on the way you want me to go. lead me lord i pray.







stay humble. stay true. to yourself. to God.

desmond scribbled at 10:28 PM.
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