Wednesday, August 04, 2004

technology. how amazing this thing can be. and how screwed up it can be at times too. on the island. as usual. 38 more working days. wanted to say the isolated island. guess its not that isolated anyway. i still can blog here so no that bad. but of course i would rather have my laptop instead.

got some raid yesterday. wonder what was it for. just what is wrong with having a camera or even a camera phone??? are they afraid that we would take pictures of those crabs on shoulders sleeping? if not then what? i mean we are all nsf and on this island where weve got nothing but tons of recruits. what can we take. botak heads? darn. hate this. searching for stuff like burn cds and stuff. dont tell me all those ppl who are doing the raid dont possess them. purposely stayed in the mess to avoid them all. to prove the point that it isnt fair as some would not be checked at all. wonder if they check those up there at HQ sitting in their office.

another week is going to go by. field camp coming. everytime after field camp it just feel like the batch has ended. wonder why. maybe its because the so called most shiong part is over. but who cares. my last anyway. realise am forgetting a lot of stuff. too many to mention. should have suggest that my position would need a personal secretary. and also realised that i have been doing a lot of my clerks' job. darn. come what may.

feel that a lot of shit is coming. and once these are all over its over. you know how ppl always say how time flies. and we are like ah dont give me that crap. but really. how time flies. not trying to be chessy or anything. remember just comissioning and posted here. those slacking days. and now am taking my last batch. ha. when you are at the end, you look back and ponder, wasnt that like just yesterday?

i now know for sure am definitely not going into management and stuff as a career. paper job just aint for me. i need my space. to do what i want. to change. to correct. to create. and not to get information and pass them down. i mean, seriously anyone can do that. its just a message passing process. who cant?

hopefully mag can join me over there. now that theres a glimpse of hope that she can. would just not buy the web cam first. keeping my fingers crossed.

back to some more of those shit. told today that all of us are suppose to pay 90bucks for the dining in. i mean what the @*#! we already are burning our time doing and preparing for the event. and now they still need us to pay to go. why are we suppose to cover up for others shit when they are always out to stir ours. screw them all. its money we are talking about here. 90 bucks. get it right. HELLO? thats like what one eleventh of our pay. and we are being made to go. where is the freedom of choice. THAT is the problem. damn it. THAT is the fact they are always trying to bury under. organisation excellence. no offence to anyone. but. MY ARSE. orange cloth as usual volunteered to pay for us again. i told him no. and i mean it. its not about the money. its about the principle. how can they force ppl out of their will to pay. and of these are ppl like us who are burning our time and life here trying to make their event wotk by supporting them. and they actually have the cheek to ask us to pay. how about them paying us for all the work weve done to make the even run smoothly? darn. alrite enough of this. THAT is why ppl cant wait to get out of this. of this SHIT. period.

father forgive me for all my wrong doings and lord i pray that you will keep watch over me. all my days. and all my life. you are my strength when i am weak, you are the treasure that i seek. you are my all in all. lead me lord i pray.










stay humble. stay true. to yourself. to God.

desmond scribbled at 11:06 PM.
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