Saturday, July 03, 2004

weekend. end of the week. once again. pretty smooth yesterdae..till night. was furious. totally blew it. on my platoon. tot could end e day well and early. sigh and it has to happen. not me to blow my top. am not someone who usually scold verbally on trainees.. but just cant take it anymore. sigh been too nice. think it triggered me off.end of the day din punish them anyway. just a lot of shouting. how can they do something like that to their own platoon mate. could u imagine if no one stop him. i would have one less today. and wouldnt be typing this now. sigh. they say last batch dont get too emotionally invovled. dont get into unnecessary trouble. i mean then why are we instructors for. if we know something is not right and just keep quiet abt it isnt there something very wrong? just because we dont wanna get into trouble. i believe we should support one another. if something were to go wrong and the top were to straight away pin point on its own instructors then where is the support we are gonna get? believe it. not one push up zero crunches. still got ppl send out. cant believe it. maybe its just me. be true. to myself. i told myself. if your heart is clear who cares about what others think. end up not giving any punishments at all. think none of them is really at fault anyway. maybe am at fault myself.

wanted to run badly this morning. to run and forget. to run it out. remember the time when i went running with ben e dick. was good. guess its a good way to unwind. 8 rounds round the track. getting the kick back when i use to run 15. those were the days. ha. age is catching up.

jans leaving. he really is. one more day. fast. how fast. saw kj todae. told me he got his rejection from ntu for his appeal. wondering if mine is on e way. ha. still believe. and pray. know that He hears. and answers. gonna send jan off tomorrow. wonder if it would be sad. but then thinking again nothing bad about it. his going overseas to study. to improve. to learn. should be glad for him. and if youre reading this jan take good care twelve yrs bud. might join u soon. who knows. who knows.

meeting up with mag for spiderman later with poly ppl. been quite long since there was such a group outing. meeting camp mates for zouk later. to unwind. hot day. monday off. yeah. can watch the euro finals. portugal greece. doesnt sound very interesting to me. but still its the final. the match of the tournament that all has been waiting for. isnt it. mags pretty piss with me not rememebering stuff. sigh. i pretty piss with myself not remembering stuff too. i really am. arghz. just what is wrong. too many things in my head. or maybe too small a brain. running out of space. gotta get lunch for mag later. got some macs coupons. on budget. real broke. where has all my money gone to?

been a long time since i took a bus. good time to think. to reflect. to watch the tv mobile. to enjoy the scenery. to sleep. and not having to worry about the blind spot. ha. long day ahead. hopefully i will have the strength to go through. come what may.






stay humble. stay true. to yourself. to God.
desmond scribbled at 11:58 AM.
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