Sunday, June 27, 2004

another weekend gone.having dinner with mag and mum. talked about jan leaving. sudden rush of fear went through my mind. if i really were to go would i be able to leave everything behind. my friends, family and mag. seems easy saying going overseas to study but it just hit me hard that its not that easy to do it. maybe mag is right. im too over dependent. not just on my parents i believe but also on her. really cant imagine not having mag in my life. how different it would had been. thank God. but somehow i give her the impression that i am taking her from granted. if you are reading this. am not. really. honestly. i thank you.

praying hard that i would get a positive reply from ntu. somehow on the surface seems that i dont care much about leaving. who wouldnt want to stay and study locally surrounded by the comfort of love ones. if only it was up to me. dad keep asking me to check the net if the results are out. sigh. getting a bit on my nerves. i know his concern about it. so am i. day in day out been always on my mind. guess there are actually only four main things occupying my mind these days. uni. work. family. mag. somehow am always forgetting stuff. think something is really wrong with my brain. or maybe its just me. getting old too fast for my age. maybe its some brain clog thing. or maybe its the migrains. or maybe there are just too many stuff for me to remember. pentium 4 era and am still running on 486. gotta get some memory pills.

seven more days before jan flys off. gonna organise some makan session. wonder how he feels about flying there. this blog thing isnt suppose to be some stuff that i post on the web for everyone to see. just my feelings so that someday i can just sit back and look back on my online diary. that is if the internet is still around. my palm is actually still alive. thank to mag. if not would have to go the trouble to send it to ICU at ck tang. hafent even send in its warranty.

parade tomorrow. somehow the mindset these days for work is come what may. three more months and i will wash my hands off. for now, got to get back on the stupid ferry once more onto the island.





stay humble. stay true. to yourself. to God.
desmond scribbled at 10:04 PM.
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